The Secret
by Lana Coombe
Summary: I'd forgotten about this story I'd written for a challenge, from the given title. It's not the sequel I was working on but follows on from 'Fighting the Past'. Apologies to all those who have requested a sequel. My writing has taken a bit of a back seat recently due to other commitments.


Heyes let out a heavy sigh, as he dragged the saddle from his horse and swung it to the ground. He surreptitiously glanced over his shoulder at his long time friend and partner. The Kid busied himself setting up camp and making a fire with the usual efficiency, which came with practice and experience. This was a common routine for the two men, something they had done many times together but this time it was different.

An underlying tension still hung in the air, as it had done for the last couple of days. Heyes hated the uncomfortable silences and missed the casual banter and jibes that usually accompanied their activity. The Kid was never one for unnecessary talk but he was happy to listen and contribute his thoughts and opinion from time to time, until recent events made him abnormally taciturn.

Ironically, Heyes had been the one to withdraw into dejected silence, only a week or so earlier, following their gruesome discovery, which had dragged unwanted memories to the surface. The Kid had been at his side through the whole hideous episode. When they had finally left the Tucker ranch, three days ago, Heyes had hoped they could put it behind them and that they'd be able to get back to their usual, easy-going relationship. As the days went by, he realised that what he'd told the Kid had more effect on him than he'd originally let on.

From time to time, he caught the Kid looking at him with such intensity it made him falter. At first he tried to ignore it, telling himself he was over reacting, that he was reading too much into the looks he thought the Kid was sending his way. But as time passed it became obvious that something was troubling his partner.

After trying to act as normally as possible, frustration eventually got the better of Heyes. The previous evening he had confronted the Kid, who had remained reticent and uncommunicative, denying anything was wrong, claiming he was just tired. Heyes knew him too well to know that wasn't the case but he respected the Kid's request to be left alone – for now.

Another day had gone by with only monosyllabic utterances from the Kid and, by the time they'd stop for the night, Heyes had determined to get his partner to talk to him.

"How much of the food Bess gave us is left?" Heyes asked as he strolled towards the Kid, who squatted on his haunches, next to the fire, which was beginning to flicker in to life.

"A bit."

"Enough for a meal or do we need some beans or go hunting?" Heyes asked conversationally.

A shrug of shoulders was the only response he received.

"Sure do miss her home cooking and I bet she's missing you," he added, playfully.

The Kid poked at the fire, then eased himself to his feet and began to walk away.

"Hey, where you going?" asked Heyes.

"Didn't think we had to tell each other everything," his partner snapped.

Heyes was dually taken aback by the Kid's uncharacteristic comment. Before he realised what he was doing, Heyes strode purposefully after the Kid, grabbed his arm and spun him round so that they stood nose to nose.

"We need to talk about this," he said sternly.

"For years you don't say nothin' and then suddenly you want to talk about it?" the Kid snarled back, his words oozing sarcasm.

"I did what I thought was best."

"Best for who?"

"Kid, I …" Heyes hesitated, dropped his gaze and ran his fingers through his hair. "I thought you were alright with this. Back at the Mayer's you said you knew I was just trying to protect you, that you understood and …"

"Yeah, well sometimes what a person says and thinks ain't always the same," the Kid replied in a low, hard voice.

The look of devastation on his partner's face made the Kid backtrack some. "Look, I understand why you didn't tell me and, as I said before, 'ppreciate your tryin' to look out for me an all, it's just that … goddamn it, Heyes, you were the last person to see my Ma alive and I … I, hell I guess I'm kinda jealous. I don't know how else to put it. I know it can't have been pretty but you were the last person she talked to and I guess I wish it had been me but I glad she had you at her side when… when she died."

The Kid's voice cracked with emotion. He raised solemn blue eyes to look at his friend. "It's just that I wish I'd found out some other way. You could'a told me, Heyes. We don't have secrets. – or so I thought. It's like you didn't trust me."

Heyes rubbed the palms of his hands together, considering the Kid's words, then lifted his hands to his mouth and closed his eyes, as if in prayer, realising the significance of the next words he spoke and their bearing on his tenuous relationship with the Kid.

"Kid, I can't change what happened. Believe me, I wish I could – all of it – what happened to our families, the Home. I was just a kid. I got it wrong and by the time I realised, it was too late. I tried to do my best by you but, what you gotta know is _I_ trust y _ou_ more than any other person I know."

The Kid glanced away, taking in what Heyes had said. He understood what he was being told but it didn't stop the hurt and resentment he felt. It was like the time they'd split up when they were younger but that had been over something real trivial in comparison. He just wasn't sure he really knew the man standing before him anymore.

"But can _I_ trust _you_? Is there anything else you've forgotten to tell me, Heyes?"

The anguish in Kid's eyes cut Heyes like a knife. He'd tried his best but he'd let the Kid down. He wasn't sure how or if they'd ever get through this.

"No, Kid. There ain't nothing else." Heyes turned sadly away, back towards the campfire, shoulders slumped dejectedly. The Kid watched him walk away.

"Ain't you got nothin' more to say?" The Kid didn't mean the words to have such an accusing ring to them.

"What else do you want me to say? I mean if you can't trust me no more then I don't see the point in us sticking together. D'you wanna us to split up? Go our own way?"

The Kid's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "No!' came the emphatic reply. "I just want it to be like it was, I guess. I know I'm bein' unreasonable, Heyes. I know what you done – for both of us. It was just such a shock to find out that it wasn't like I'd thought it was, you know, you findin' all our folks dead. To know Ma was still alive when you found her, well, it kinda stirred things up in me, things I don't rightly understand and …"

The Kid caught himself before his emotions got the better of him and he said too much. He looked at his partner. Blue eyes met brown as a multitude of thoughts passed between them.

"I know, Kid," Heyes said huskily. "Come on, let's make some coffee and get something to eat."

The Kid nodded and followed Heyes, over to the campfire. He stood staring down in to the flames, hands shoved into his pants' pockets, as Heyes set about making some coffee.

"Perhaps it would help if you told me everything, exactly as you remember it," the Kid said in a soft voice. Heyes paused, mid action, as he went to set the coffee pot on the fire and glanced up at his partner.

"If you think it'll help, Kid, I'll try," he replied, returning his attention back to the pot and settling it on the flames.

Wordlessly they set their saddles on the ground, gathered their bedrolls and laid them down, close to the fire. After sharing out the remainder of the food Bess Mayer had given them, the Kid poured them both some coffee. Heyes rummaged in his saddlebag and retrieved a bottle of whiskey. He poured a liberal amount in their coffee and then, nursing the warm cup in his hands, rested back against his saddle.

"Where d'you want me to begin, Kid?" he asked softly.

The Kid shrugged. "Day of the raids, I guess."

Heyes nodded his understanding and took a long sip of his coffee. His brow furrowed as he gathered his thoughts and his words.

"D'you remember we'd slipped off to the water hole instead of doing our chores?"

"That was pretty usual," the Kid replied, with a sad smile.

Heyes smiled too but then his face hardened and his eyes misted, as he remembered.

"I knew there was something wrong before we even got home. Just had this feeling but didn't know why. I remember trying to act normal as we walked back. It was the smell I remember most, the same smell we came across when we found the burned homestead the other week."

Heyes hesitated, unsure how to continue. He knew this was going to be hard for Kid to hear but not as hard as it had been for him to see all that time ago. The memory of it was still horribly clear, the images still vivid. He started talking, keeping his voice calm and clear, his tone flat and impassive.

The Kid listened, losing himself in the campfire flames, taking in every detail of Heyes' monologue, periodically closing his eyes when what he was being told became difficult to hear. But listen he did, as the night grew darker and the stars became brighter.

By the time Heyes had finished recounting the events of that regrettable time, both felt physically and emotionally drained. Darting a look in his partner's direction, Heyes could see the soft glisten of moisture on his cheeks, in the glare from the fire.

"You okay, Kid? " he asked hoarsely, his throat dry from talking.

The Kid bobbed his head a couple of times. "Fine," he replied, huskily.

They descended into contemplative silence for a while. Neither felt like sleeping. There were just too many thoughts swimming through their heads to let them rest.

Heyes glanced up, to see a jagged, glowing crease of pink in the sky. Another day was dawning and with it he hoped a new start for him and his partner. He'd carried the secret with him for many years, letting it eat away at him. He was just glad he'd been able to tell Kid now and wished that now everything was out in the open they would be able to move on, re-establish the partnership and their enduring friendship. But he knew it wasn't up to him. The choice wasn't his to make - it would be down to the Kid.

"Sun's almost up." Heyes jolted at the sound of Kid's voice.

"Yeah. I'll make some fresh coffee," Heyes replied, getting to his feet. "Looks like it's gonna be a fine day," he continued cautiously, unsure of where he stood with the Kid, now that he'd told him everything.

"What d'you wanna do?" the Kid asked, stretching his legs in front of him and rolling his head, to release the stiffness from sitting through the cool of the night.

"Think that's your decision, Kid," Heyes answered, clasping the coffee pot firmly in both his hands, only to find he was trembling slightly with nervous tension. He gathered himself for the Kid's response, his dark features etched with worry.

"Thought you wanted to carry on to Rock Bend to check out that poker game you heard about?"

'That's what I thought we'd do before … well, before, …" Heyes paused. "Kid? You still wanna ride with me?"

The Kid regarded him with a puzzled expression. "Sure."

"I thought that after what I told you last night you might not wanna ride with me no more," Heyes said with a sad smile.

"Why'd you think that, Heyes? "

"You seemed pretty angry with me so I thought …."

"You know, Heyes, sometimes you think too much," the Kid stated.

"Sometimes I don't think at all," Heyes replied meekly. "I'm sorry, Kid."

"Ain't nothin' to be sorry for. Now, you gonna make that coffee or just try and strangle the pot?" the Kid said, indicating towards the vessel with an inclination of his head.

"Huh?" Heyes stood slacked jawed, regarding his friend with appreciation.

"Make the coffee, Heyes. On second thoughts I'll do it. There's one thing that ain't a secret and it's that you make the worst coffee."

Heyes' face creased into a broad smile, revealing deep dimples as he held out the pot to the Kid. "Be my guest."

The Kid took the pot and began to pour water from his canteen into it, while Heyes put some more wood on the fire. When the flames were burning brightly the Kid rested the pot on top. He stood, arms wrapped around his chest, watching the steam start to rise from the spout, while Heyes began to pack up his bedroll.

Realising the Kid wasn't doing the same Heyes stopped what he was doing and glanced uneasily at his friend. "Ain't changed your mind 'bout coming with me, have you?" he asked apprehensively.

"Heck, no," he replied, glancing over with a reassuring smile.

"You sure about that?"

"We're partners ain't we? Always have been."

"Always will be."

"And no more secrets, right?"

Heyes reached out and placed his hand on his partner's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "No more secrets, Kid."


End file.
